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Beginnings
by Barb Apple
My earliest horse communication that had that "only in your dreams" quality happened when I was about three years old. I remember my day dreams about an imaginary horse friend that did truly amazing things - just because I asked. My fascination and communication with horses began there.
The day my neighbor's horse Rocky unexpectedly picked me up by my braids and then set me down just before my toes left the ground, I realized that real horses were quite capable of communication as well as a sense of humor. My mom however wasn't treated quite so kindly. While she bent over her vegetable garden, located next to Rocky's fence, Rocky took the opportunity to give her posterior a bite to get her attention and communicate his playful mood. She gave him attention but certainly didn't share his sense of humor.
Having a passion for animals, especially horses, from an early age gave me reason to spend countless hours playing, observing, and learning to communicate with all the animals around our house. It was not possible for me to have my own horse until I was 13 but, thanks to my loving mom, I was given a two wheel cart she built herself for my dog to pull.
Through my young eyes this little cart was a fine horse trailer pulled by my dashing palomino stallion named Spooky...who was actually a Terrier/Cocker Spaniel dog. Other than sitting down on the job now and then, my dashing stallion made a remarkable draft horse.
I could drop the tailgate of my fine horse trailer and practice loading my shiny chestnut stallion named Rhode Island Red Butch. In reality Butch was only a very large Rhode Island Red rooster, but he was a great substitute. Up the ramp he would prance and wait for his ride around the neighborhood.
I remember how easily it came to me to communicate my wishes to my animal friends and how willingly they would comply. I look back now and realize how confident I was that they would naturally understand and want to do what I asked of them.
Years went by and finally lambs, rabbits, turtles, kittens, water snakes, lizards, dogs, and chickens gave way to a REAL LIVE HORSE of my very own! This came shortly after my thirteenth birthday. Our dear old neighbor man Joe had been trying to convince my father of my need for a horse for quite some time. On this long awaited day my dad finally got the message.
Joe said, "Well Lee, I see that Barb is thirteen today. Looks like you finally have to make a decision."
"What decision is that?" my dad asked.
"Well, put Barb on the street with the boys or on a horse," answered Joe.
Within two weeks my long dreamed of shiny black horse arrived. She was a mare of 16 years, old for her age and with foal. But I thought she was the most beautiful horse I'd ever laid eyes on! Even her pot-belly, a bit swayed back, and $150 price did not dim the gleam in my eyes as I admired my very own horse. Our relationship was magical from the start. I named her Dark Shadow.
I was not allowed to have a saddle for the first year. Good old Joe said that if I could stay on bareback I could ride anything. I owe him a lot for his teaching and wisdom about the caring and handling of horses that he imparted to me over the years, as I had no one else to turn to.
Being a child gave me the distinct advantage of not being in a hurry. This allowed me time to learn valuable lessons about the subtle and not so subtle vocabulary of horse body language. I learned that horses talk to us almost constantly and much of this conversation is in the form of questions. I learned the hard way to answer those questions as rapidly and clearly as I could. One of the first things I learned was if my horse's head snapped up and she looked RIGHT, she often flew LEFT. I, however, often DID NOT! After a few flying lessons and picking myself off the ground, I quickly developed a deep interest in learning what my horse was thinking long before it got to her feet.
I considered myself a pretty natural horsewoman from an early age. I rode bareback naturally, and naturally got dumped now and then. I raised my mare's foal naturally, and naturally assumed she would honor and respectfully communicate with me. I guess in the foal's estimation that is what she was doing. She treated me as her sibling. It was a dubious honor as she communicated her sisterly love and desire for play by biting me, kicking me, bucking me off, running over me, and using me as her combination rubbing post and snot rag. If I took her to a strange place, she went nuts if I tried to leave her. With her help and the help of other horse friends, I learned over the years that horses are incredible followers and partners when they have a good leader and communicator. I needed to become that leader, rather than a just a sibling, to maintain a safer relationship both for myself and my horse. With leadership, horses become very willing dance partners. If given half a chance and not confused by communication they do not understand, they will work their hearts out for you.
I believe that horses enjoy frequent conversations that allow them to express themselves. They do not, however, enjoy being "yelled" at through too much pressure, harsh equipment, etc., any more than we do. That does not mean there is never an appropriate time to raise my voice through body language or phases of pressure.
From my childhood, I remember how it felt when I first convinced my chestnut stallion Rhode Island Red Butch to walk up the ramp of my "horse trailer". We looked each other eye to eye and I asked him to walk up. He cocked his head and softly clucked as I lightly patted his feathered fanny until he was in. He taught me to be light and patient, otherwise I got a hard peck on the hand. These were the beginnings of my "Communication through Consideration".